Broken Promise

Hey gals and guys,

So turns out that my ex-flatmates didnt read our lease agreement properly because it clearly states that we cannot use the deposit as rent 😠I ended up paying the €425 to not get evicted 😡I’ll be keeping their half of the deposit when I move out.

I thought long and hard about suggesting that Keith and Niall(Keith’s bro)move from their apartment below to mine when I leave to the rental company like he asked.I decided to do it 😕The main reason being I’ll know where Keith is when I come back from Australia if I want to see him again😊I messaged him to let him know my decision.I really shouldn’t have.

He begged to see me and eventually I caved.Truth is I was miserable without having been near him 😔Keith was so excited about it he kept messaging me could he come up to my apartment now 😍😂I made him wait though 😜When I messaged him he could come up he asked if the door was already open to which I replied no.I got up to open the door and he was already standing there 🤣

We climbed into bed and chatted about work etc.He informed me he was away in Manchester for work this weekend (so it wasnt a case of him behaving himself as I previously thought 😔).I told Keith about William’s visits and he said”Ah so thats who you were meeting that evening”😆He must have been thinking or worrying about who I was meeting by the sounds of it 😋

Keith pulled me in close and as soon as I felt his touch I knew I wouldnt be able to resist 😣😉I gave him the best oral sex he ever had😉He kept saying”Ah baby thats gorgeous”.He only says those words when its really good 😂Though he was selfish…he didnt make sure I was satisfied which was unusual 😒

Afterwards we chit chatted.Keith gave out about William’s visit.He showed me how badly sunburnt he got over in Manchester.He is pure red on the arms,warm to touch and peeling.I had to give out to him for picking at it 😂At one point I turned to ask if he was ok as he was very quiet but he was zoned out and replied”What?….Yeah….sorry I’m ok”I said”You’re in a world of your own” and he said “Yeah sorry…alot going on”.

I then tried testing his reaction to my leaving for Australia.I told Keith that I have just over 3 weeks before I go and he asked”Are you going straight to Australia or back to Donegal for a few weeks first?”as if he was asking just to be polite and not as if he actually cares 😭I replied that I’ll be going back to Donegal first and then flying to Australia and he didnt respond 😡

I informed him that I had finished in Lidl and showed him the card the team got me.He read it but again with fake interest 😕Keith asked me what my plans are for tomorrow and I said”Nothing”and he replied”So you are doing nothing tomorrow?”.I found this weird but I answered that apart from going to the gym I am doing nothing.He told me”I have to be up for work at 9am and then I have this other thing after work”.I asked what this other thing was and he muttered “Just this stupid training thing we are doing for the next few weeks”.Keith watched two episodes of ‘Gotham’ with me and then said”Right I better go.I am pure wrecked.Keep me informed about the rental company”.He smiled as he headed out the door 😊

So I broke my promise not to see him again before I left.Its not a promise I am going to re-make either.I am just going to go with the flow but I am in no rush to see him again.At the same time I want to so that I can tell him how much I love him every chance I get but when I try the words get stuck and the fear of getting my heart broke wins out instead.

Positive vibes always,

Shauna 😗