Smell like Her

Hey gals and guys 😁,

Keith and I were mean’t to spend the evening together but he messaged to say he was staying at his parents longer and if we could meet another time so of course I was disappointed but said fine.

I FINALLY caught Keith out.I have had suspicions for weeks now.I seen him come home with a woman.He thought I was out.I then waited a few minutes.I went down to his apartment and I stood at the door.I could hear them having sex.I went back upstairs to my place.I watched him leave with her soon after.

I got all dressed up in my hottest outfit and done my make-up.I watched him pull up in his car.I waited on the stairs for him and as soon as he seen me he smiled the biggest smile.

I stood there&asked him why he was so flustered.He replied “No reason”.Then I asked for his phone.Keith asked me”Why?”.I replied”I need to make a call”.He said”To who?Where is your phone?”.I said”Its broke”.Keith wouldn’t hand over the phone so I grabbed it.

I planned to go into his contacts and delete my number in front of him.Then as I was walking away I would say”I hope she was worth it”but his phone battery died 😣I just walked off instead without saying anything.Thats it.I have deleted and blocked him on everything.

I didn’t cry.I was just disgusted.I think he knows I know for sure now.I instantly fell out of love tonight.It was crazy.Maybe because I have been preparing for this for weeks.I went upstairs,put on music and started drinking to celebrate getting rid of him.

I won’t say another word or even look at him ever again.I feel sick to my stomach I let him anywhere near me!I actually hate him.I don’t care what happens to him.

Positive vibes always,

Shauna 😗


The Last Major Rager in Galway

Hey gals and guys 😁,

I have been quiet on here lately because I have been packing up to go to Australia and trying to see everyone before I leave Galway.

I went to visit Lisa and baby Jamie 😍I stayed overnight and got lots of cuddles.I even helped with the nightfeed 😊I got some practise in for when its my turn 😂Lisa and I stuffed our faces,watched Netflix and chatted.It was a great night in.Sometimes though I feel awkward with Lisa since she became pregnant and had Jamie.Her priorities have changed in a good way but we dont seem to have as much in common anymore.I love her and Jamie to bits though so its just about adapting to a new normal in our friendship 😄

Last night Lisa,Chris,Aoife,Lauren,Ellen,Bruce,Emer,Lana,Mirka and myself went out for my leaving party.Aoife and Lauren came to my apartment for food and pre-drinks.We then met everyone else in ‘The Front Door’ pub.I had such a brilliant night drinking,laughing and saying a final goodbye to the friends who have made my time living in Galway some of my best memories 😀

Aoife stayed in my apartment last night.For some reason we slept in the spare room.We usually sleep in the same bed when we have sleepovers🛏.I had turned my mobile data off before going to sleep which I never do incase Keith needs me.Sure enough when I turned my mobile data back on this morning I had 5 missed calls on ‘Viber’ and a message asking for the code to get in the apartment block📱.Somehow he forgets everytime he goes out and has a few drinks despite living here longer than me 😆He obviously managed to get in anyway.I was so drunk I was in a deep sleep so if he came knocking at the door I didnt hear it🚪

Keith messaged me today asking me to come see him📱.I replied by telling him I couldn’t as Aoife was here.He begged me to come see him but I knew he was hungover and just wanted me to comfort him so I kept telling him no until eventually he annoyed me that much I told him to come to my apartment 🏘Aoife was asleep and severely hungover on my living room sofa so I brought Keith into my bedroom 🛏

Keith spotted the two open and packed suitcases on my bedroom floor for moving out💼.He stood for a second in silence looking at them in shock but then he turned to me and smiled.🤔I asked him “What’s wrong you?” and he said “Nothing,how are you?”.I told him I was tired and hungover to which he stated the same😪🤢Keith sat on my bed and reached his arms out to pull me into him for a cuddle💏.We cuddled for a few minutes and then he slowly slid his right hand up my top to feel my breasts.He pulled at his shorts and his semi-hard penis sprung out 😘Then he tugged off my jeans and let out a sigh of “Oh yes”😉

I took off my top so I could feel his skin on mine.I am really savouring the simple things before I leave Keith.He tenderly kissed my breasts and lay his head on my chest as we spent the first few minutes of sex just enjoying being close 😍I then got down on my knees and gave Keith a blow job.I like to play with his balls at the same time but found it difficult with the false nails I had put on for the night out with my friends 💅While I was sucking Keith off he cupped my face in his hands and softly rubbed my cheek lovingly 💑This is something he had never done before but I loved it ❤

As I was giving him the blowjob I wanted to switch up my technique so put my hands on his legs and just used my mouth👄I felt Keith softly intertwine his fingers in mine.Again this was new.I could tell he just needed to be as close as possible to me 😀Then he asked me to stand up and he returned the favour by entering me with his fingers ✌My low moans turned him on more.Keith turned me to face away from him so he could admire my arse.He is obsessed with it 😉This made Keith so horny,he immediately positioned me down onto his hard penis and as we got into the groove I had to stop as I thought I heard Aoife walking around.

Once the coast was clear Keith put me lying on the bed with my knees near my breasts and he began to fuck me 😉We have never been one of those couples that likes to look into eachothers eyes while we have sex(we both find sex faces weird)but today I just happened to open my eyes and look at him👀.He was looking at me with an expression of wanting.I don’t how but I could tell he wanted us to continue making eye contact so I would look into his eyes every so often and found it uncomfortable but yet reassuring👀 🤔It was as if we had become more connected and closer.

I decided to spice things up a little and pleasure myself as he watched.He loved it 😘Keith began wanking himself as he watched me play with my vagina.Once I knew it was time for him to unleash his load I whispered to him in a sexy tone “I want you to cum all over me”😉I took his erect penis in my hand,moaned with pleasure and not long after his seed exploded all over my body 😉I went to the bathroom to clean myself off as he got dressed.

I thought he was going to leave straight after as he commented that he had to walk to Briarhill to collect his car from his friend’s house but he actually sat down on a chair by the window staring out to the distance👀It looked liked a sexy photoshoot just by the way he was sitting.I could have laid on my bed staring at Keith for hours ❤🙄I asked Keith why he was here as he had messaged me the previous day to say he was staying at his parents house all weekend and wouldn’t be back until Monday🏠He said that his friend asked him to go out for pints as he perfers going out partying with Keith the most (probably because Keith gets so drunk and makes an ass out of himself)🍺

I asked him if he was working tomorrow or did he get the bank holiday off and he replied he is off.We are supposed to be going for a drive tomorrow so we’ll see if that actually happens 🚘We laughed and joked about for a while🤣.I enquired as to what his plans are for the rest of the day and he told me he was going back to his parents for the night 🏠As we talked Keith had the biggest smile on his face.I expressed my fears for our future.I told him that I don’t believe he’ll want to see me when I come back from Australia as he’ll have either moved on with another woman or just not want to see me.He reassured me that will not happen but I told him there is no way he can be sure.

Keith eventually left my apartment and I went into my living room to find Aoife awake and alot better than earlier.We got ourselves together and went to Salthill to enjoy the sunshine 😎☀We got some lunch and ice-cream 🍦Aoife and I talked about our plans for Australia as she is going to be moving there in September which I am so excited about 😄

Now I am back in my apartment and chilling out in my bed.I am meeting up with Aoife and Lauren tomorrow to jump off ‘Blackrock’ diving board 🏊Then I am supposed to be meeting Keith to go for a drive 😉😍🚘

I’ll leave you with a small selection of photos from last night’s celebration and my picture of appreciation for Keith’s good looks 😜





Positive vibes always,

Shauna 😗

Meet the Parent

Hey gals and guys 😁,

So…I have no clue how I got in my current situation🤔My current situation being this:

Keith came home from his parents yesterday and proceeded to take selfies of himself drinking on his apartment balcony.He didnt see that I could see him 😂He had one can of cider and was taking pictures as if he was out partying 😂He eventually ended up going out and I could tell it was just with the lads by how he was dressed 😊

At around 4am I could hear a taxi pull up outside our apartment block and I could also hear Keith shouting “Retard” multiple times so I knew he had got to the point of his drunkeness where he gets moody and rude 😒I am guessing he was giving out to the poor taxi driver 😐

I was in my bed and I could hear his heavy,loud footsteps stomping up the stairs.I listened intently to hear if he got in safely 👂.Yet I didnt hear him go in his door and I knew exactly where Keith was heading 😧Sure enough a few seconds later I heard a knock at my front door 🚪.I answered and asked him something like “What’s up?” but I didn’t just let him in as I usually do.I stood at the door and he kind of just walked in anyway 😕With the mood he was in and how late it was I didnt want him to start shouting so I just closed the door behind Keith.As I walked by him to go to my bedroom he put his arms around me and hugged me from behind 😀

I got into my bed and he climbed in too.He put his arms around me and was being all lovey dovey😗😍.He was kissing my cheek,my neck and cuddling me so tight 😍I didn’t say no.I miss him and even though we are not together I want Keith to feel and know I still love him💏❤.

As I was trying to sort the tv out(Netflix wasn’t working on it for some reason 😤)I turned to look at Keith lying beside me to see if he was ok and his eyes had filled with tears😢He was looking at me as if I was the most precious thing in the world to him and he said to me “What am I going to do when you are gone?”.I felt like hugging him and saying something comforting but instead I joked to try lighten the mood by replying”Shag other women🤣”.Even though I was joking there was some resentment behind that statement.Keith didn’t reply.Everytime I looked at him he was in a world of his own and he looked so like a little lost boy 😯I then let Keith know I only have two weeks left in Galway and he dropped a bombshell on me.Apparently he has only two weeks left in Galway too as he is moving to Dublin 😯I don’t think its true though.

I had pre-arranged with my aunty Arylene and my mother that they would come to Galway today to collect all my belongings to bring back to Donegal to store while I am in Australia.I informed Keith of this last night and he blurted out”I want to meet your mother”.I said”Why do you want to meet her?”and he said”I am meeting your mother tomorrow”.I knew he was drunk and didn’t truly mean it which I pointed out to him.I said “Why would you meet my mother?You’re not my boyfriend.What would I tell her?” and the biggest smile came across my face after Keith answered”You tell your mother that I am the man you are going to marry”😍👰🤵He said it with such certainty in his eyes so I asked him”Oh,so we’re getting married now?What makes you think we are going to get married?”but I got no reply as he literally went into a fast and deep sleep 😪

I couldn’t sleep😫.I was and still am so confused as to how we went from being completely over to Keith wanting to meet my mother to tell her he is the man I am going to marry without any explanation in his major turn around.Also he was snoring so fudging loudly 😪 He also just wanted to love on me so much which was adorable😍.Even though Keith was in a deep sleep,if I tried to move away at all,he would pull me back in to sleep in his arms 😙I was happy to lay there though just taking in the smell of him and feeling his skin on mine 😍It eventually got too warm and I moved away but he like followed me to the point I ended up on the edge of the bed as he spread himself out like a starfish 🤣

I cuddled back into Keith and eventually got to sleep 😴Its my favourite thing in the whole world…cuddling and sleeping (non-sexually but I also love sexually sleeping with him too 😉😂).I never want to stop.We woke up in the morning and we didn’t have sex,we made love ❤I know it sounds so cliche and corny but normally (I’d say we jave made love a total of 5 times)the sex between us is about horniness,passion and achieving orgasm.This morning it was slow and sensual with us communicating how much we love being so close to eachother 😍😘We spent most of the day sleeping,cuddling and making love.It was perfect 💏

We were asleep when my phone started ringing and I then panicked 📱I told Keith he needed to get up and get dressed immediately.He was so confused until I told him my mother was at the top of our estate.I never seen him get dressed so quickly or me for that matter 😂Keith wasn’t so keen to meet my mother after all his insisting last night 😋🤣He made it out the door in time anyway 😅Just a few minutes after he left my mother and aunty pulled up outside my apartment in the car🚗We packed all my belongings into the car and then headed off for a spot of dinner🍲I paid as a way of thanking my mother and Arylene for coming all the way from Donegal to Galway to collect my belongings.

As far as I am aware and in my opinion despite what happened last night,Keith and I are still over💔Last night was the perfect way to say goodbye to “us”.He can’t just fix things over night with some sweet words and by making love to me.To be honest I don’t know what it would take or if it is unfixable?I would like to believe we are soulmates and will find our way back to eachother when I get back from Australia.That we do get married and we do live happily ever after but do I actually think it will happen?No.


Positive vibes always,

Shauna 😗


I’m Back

Hey gals and guys,

I’m back after a few days of,well,numbness 🤔I thought I’d be crying tears into a bucket of ice-cream,watching Bridget Jones’ Diary,looking a mess and singing along to every heartbreak song there is but I dont think its hit me yet because I haven’t cried once 😮I’ve gotten angry,I had panic attacks and not slept in days instead 😣

Not one word from Keith (until I reached out to him last night…tell you further on in the blog about that).He just moved on as if nothing has happened 😠Most guys get over relationships as if they mean’t nothing which I just don’t understand.It was if I never existed 😔Keith has been going out everynight around the same time which makes me think he has started seeing someone or was already seeing her before we ended (we weren’t officially together again but he had told me all this bunch of lies about only wanting me,that he wasn’t seeing anyone else etc)Sometimes he comes back within a few minutes with takeaway food and other times he doesn’t come back for hours (those are the times he is probably having sex with her).

I was sitting out sunning myself on the balcony yesterday trying to get a tan before I go to Australia 😎Keith’s car pulled up and as is usual he looked up to my apartment.He has continued to do it even when we aren’t seeing each other 😊He didnt say hi or wave so I didn’t bother either.I heard him go up to his apartment and proceed to then sit out on his balcony (copycat)😒.I got a videocall from my sister who started talking about how much she hates Keith and its his fault I am going to Australia (he totally heard it and so awkward).I peeked over my balcony and could see he was busy taking selfies on Snapchat.I finished my conversation with my sister and I could hear Keith talking to his brother Niall about looking for new apartments.As you already know he asked about moving in here when I leave which I think they were discussing because I heard Keith say to Niall”You haven’t even seen it yet.I am having the bigger bedroom”.He mumbled some other stuff about it which made me think he was talking about my apartment 🏘

As per usual since we stopped seeing eachother (so Saturday or Sunday)Keith headed off out at around 10:15pm🚘.I waited up to see if he returned soon after or later.I am persuming Keith was with a woman because he returned at 1:45am😯.He returned alone.

As soon as Keith arrived home I heard some music blaring so I persumed it was him.I had a headache (probably from being in the heat too long all day)so I messaged Keith and asked him to turn it down 💿⬇.He messaged back saying “Its not me,I am here alone,in bed,watching poker”.I replied”Ok…sounds like its coming from your apartment.I’m going to kill whoever it is.I have a banging headache and all I can hear is that shit music”.Keith messaged me back saying “Sure come down to me”.At first I typed out a message saying that being near him wouldn’t help 😂I messaged back that I would be down in a few minutes.I mainly went down because I was curious to see what we would say to each other and how we would be 🤔

When I got down to Keith’s apartment he pointed at me to go into his bedroom.I noticed his arms had gotten more sunburn from when I last saw him a week ago 😥I went into his bedroom and climbed into his bed while he went to the bathroom🛏.I noticed he left his mobile unlocked and open in one of the messaging apps📱.I had a quick glance to see who he was messaging📱It was me,his mum,his brother Niall and some woman called ‘Char'(😡).I didn’t have time to read the messages between Keith and Char as I heard him coming back from the bathroom🚽.

Keith asked how I was and I told him I was fine apart from having a headache.I asked how he had been and he said “I’m good”.Short and hurtful words.He is good without me!😭Then he asked what I had been up to so I said sunning myself and drinking (I had been out with Aoife and Lauren 😂).I asked what he had been up too and he didn’t answer.He just made some kind of a weird noise so basically as if to say “shagging another woman but I’m not going to admit it incase you go crazy at me right now”😠

Keith told me he had to be up for work at 9am (also another indicater he was out seeing another woman,he wouldn’t stay out so late otherwise when he has work that early).He set his alarm and fell asleep.Usually we’d fall asleep cuddling but his body language showed he didn’t want to be near me and we weren’t sure of being around each other.Then he put his leg over mine and said”You are freezing”.I just wrapped myself in the duvet and closed my eyes.

I couldn’t get to sleep for ages😫.I really just wanted to be close to Keith and cuddle like we used to but we are no longer seeing each other so I had to respect his space.Then after a while I decided to just go for it.I miss being close to him so I put my head next to his and my arm around him.Keith didn’t react at first but after a while he rubbed my hand for a few seconds and then a while later he intertwined one of his fingers in mine😊

It got to warm so after an hour I took my arm away.Keith slept soundly for a few hours but then began tossing and turning for ages😫I didn’t say anything.I pretended to be asleep😪.I eventually fell asleep and it was a deep sleep and the best night sleep I had in ages😴I was so comfortable despite how awkward it was between us.It was weird though because while sleeping next to Keith I was dreaming about him 😂I have never had that happen before.

Keith suddenly woke up in a panic about needing to go to the toilet which woke me.I could feel him tossing the rest of the night when he returned to bed 🛌This morning I was awoken to Keith rubbing my leg and moving his way up 😜I turned to face him and he put his arm around me 😍He pulled off his boxers and asked if I would give him a handjob.I didnt answer and just done it.Then he asked me to suck his penis which he really enjoyed 😜I knew it was a mistake as soon as it happened but I miss him.We are definitely not back on or anything.Its a once off!I can’t wait to be over Keith.

Positive vibes always,

Shauna 😗

Its Over

Hey gals and guys,

Just a quick note to say I’ll be going quiet for a few days.

Keith and I are done for good💔For real this time.I can’t even begin to put into words the hurt I am feeling right now.He was my everything and I tried my hardest.

I just need time to cry and be angry etc 😭😠

I’ll be back soon and better than ever hopefully 😊

Positive vibes always,

Shauna 😗


Hey gals and guys 😁,

How are you all on the eve of the Royal wedding?I for one can’t wait to see the dress👰.After that I’m not too fussed about the whole thing 😂So all us straight women are mourning our slim chances of becoming Royalty now that Harry is off the market💍😔Though I definitely think I would not make a good princess👑.I enjoy going out with my friends too much and would hate having little freedom to let loose.Then again I look at it from the other side of if I loved the person enough I would find another way to go crazy with my mates 😁

I might be a bit cynical but given that Meghan Markle is very independent,a free spirit and a Hollywood actress I don’t have high hopes for this marriage lasting😕.I think she will grow tired and resentful of the situation but once she has kids with Harry,even if they divorce,she’ll be made for life anyway🤑.

This evening I went out for dinner,drinks and to the cinema with the girls (Aoife and Lauren)🍔🍟🍺🎥I really needed it as I had been feeling anxious and a bit down 😔We went to a restaurant called ‘The Huntsman Inn’.The food was fabulous 👌While Lauren and I waited for Aoife to arrive the waitress came over.She recognised us because she said”Oh no uniforms this evening”.Then she looked at me and said”Oh and you have cut your hair up short,its gorgeous”.I apologised to her and told her I didnt recognise her (I felt so bad and embrassed).She explained that she shops in Lidl.We get so many customers who recognise us outside of work but we serve loads of people so its hard to remember them 😣

Lauren and I started drinking before Aoife arrived 😂I really needed a drink to tell you the truth 🍺I woke up feeling angry at Keith😠Just all the hurt,frustration and confusion of the last 14 months I have been seeing him on and off came to the surface.As soon as I was with Aoife and Lauren chatting and laughing I felt better 😁

We snapped Chris to make him jealous we were out as he is working 😂After dinner we had another pint🍻.I think myself and Lauren were a bit tipsey 😂We were in fits of giggles the whole time.We got to the cinema and seen ‘Deadpool 2’.Its a good movie but as usual the first one was way better 😊

Lauren’s boyfriend James dropped me home and when I seen Keith’s car wasn’t here the tears poured down my cheeks 😢Its my last 3 weeks in Galway and he still can’t make the effort for me or put me first?!😡If it was the other way around then all I’d want to do is be with him as much as possible.

Maybe I am just finally seeing the truth.He only cares about himself.Its all about getting what he wants and when he wants it.It doesnt matter whose feelings he has to screw with to get it 😡I messaged Keith and told him if he wants my apartment when I leave that he’ll have to sort it himself but got no reply😒

I just feel like screaming at Keith.I have had enough now.I love him more than I can put into words and would do anything for him but it has to be a two way street.He may claim it is (only when drunk)but its clearly not 😒

He has had 14 months to get his act together😮.I have waited 14 months for Keith to commit to me.Now when I tell him I am going to Australia he decides to open up more but still doesn’t make the effort to put me first.I have tried,I have been patient,I have given him space.He has had chance after chance but instead he just messes with my emotions like its all some big game to him.Yet at the end of the day I know if he needed me I will still be there in a heartbeat even though I wish I could be strong and turn my back on him.

I want Keith to hurt like he has hurt me.I want him to feel the constant paranoia.I want Keith to feel like he isn’t good enough for me like the way he makes me feel.I seriously hope he will be heartbroken when he realises I am gone for good!I know one day he is going to wake up and figure out that he lost the woman who loved him no matter what.

I’m lying in bed at the minute all teary eyed and feeling so alone but I know this feeling will pass.Its all part and parcel of dealing with the highs and lows of depression and anxiety.The highs are always good but when the lows come I hit rock bottom very quick.Maybe my feelings of extreme dislike towards Keith will subside when I am back to myself but then again maybe I have had enough now.

My mam and aunty are coming on Sunday to collect my things and bring them back to Ballyshannon for me.Thats going to be a huge emotional step and I’ll be in bits.I’d love if Keith was around to see it but I am assuming he is probably visiting his parents this weekend or shagging one of his women.

Anyway I am going to get an early night and tomorrow will be a better day.A new day means new beginnings and chances 😀Aslong as I have my friends and family I will get through anything 😀


Positive vibes always,


Shauna 😗



Broken Promise

Hey gals and guys,

So turns out that my ex-flatmates didnt read our lease agreement properly because it clearly states that we cannot use the deposit as rent 😠I ended up paying the €425 to not get evicted 😡I’ll be keeping their half of the deposit when I move out.

I thought long and hard about suggesting that Keith and Niall(Keith’s bro)move from their apartment below to mine when I leave to the rental company like he asked.I decided to do it 😕The main reason being I’ll know where Keith is when I come back from Australia if I want to see him again😊I messaged him to let him know my decision.I really shouldn’t have.

He begged to see me and eventually I caved.Truth is I was miserable without having been near him 😔Keith was so excited about it he kept messaging me could he come up to my apartment now 😍😂I made him wait though 😜When I messaged him he could come up he asked if the door was already open to which I replied no.I got up to open the door and he was already standing there 🤣

We climbed into bed and chatted about work etc.He informed me he was away in Manchester for work this weekend (so it wasnt a case of him behaving himself as I previously thought 😔).I told Keith about William’s visits and he said”Ah so thats who you were meeting that evening”😆He must have been thinking or worrying about who I was meeting by the sounds of it 😋

Keith pulled me in close and as soon as I felt his touch I knew I wouldnt be able to resist 😣😉I gave him the best oral sex he ever had😉He kept saying”Ah baby thats gorgeous”.He only says those words when its really good 😂Though he was selfish…he didnt make sure I was satisfied which was unusual 😒

Afterwards we chit chatted.Keith gave out about William’s visit.He showed me how badly sunburnt he got over in Manchester.He is pure red on the arms,warm to touch and peeling.I had to give out to him for picking at it 😂At one point I turned to ask if he was ok as he was very quiet but he was zoned out and replied”What?….Yeah….sorry I’m ok”I said”You’re in a world of your own” and he said “Yeah sorry…alot going on”.

I then tried testing his reaction to my leaving for Australia.I told Keith that I have just over 3 weeks before I go and he asked”Are you going straight to Australia or back to Donegal for a few weeks first?”as if he was asking just to be polite and not as if he actually cares 😭I replied that I’ll be going back to Donegal first and then flying to Australia and he didnt respond 😡

I informed him that I had finished in Lidl and showed him the card the team got me.He read it but again with fake interest 😕Keith asked me what my plans are for tomorrow and I said”Nothing”and he replied”So you are doing nothing tomorrow?”.I found this weird but I answered that apart from going to the gym I am doing nothing.He told me”I have to be up for work at 9am and then I have this other thing after work”.I asked what this other thing was and he muttered “Just this stupid training thing we are doing for the next few weeks”.Keith watched two episodes of ‘Gotham’ with me and then said”Right I better go.I am pure wrecked.Keep me informed about the rental company”.He smiled as he headed out the door 😊

So I broke my promise not to see him again before I left.Its not a promise I am going to re-make either.I am just going to go with the flow but I am in no rush to see him again.At the same time I want to so that I can tell him how much I love him every chance I get but when I try the words get stuck and the fear of getting my heart broke wins out instead.


Positive vibes always,

Shauna 😗